King giving speech to a large army before a battle / Me and bro all the way in the back not being able to hear a single word
4x4x7=112 / Bi-Biii / Bi-Bi-Biii / Where Are The 12 Missing Tiles? / 10×10=100
The Current Year Hiker / Ounces Become Pounds, That Kit Is 5 Oz Too Heavy / Chad Samwise Gamgee / I Am Walking Into Hell And These Cast Iron Pans Are Coming With Me
Say Something Smart, Kowalski. / Most Of Our Dreams Are Far More Entertaining Than Movies
My Cat When I Mix A Pill Into Her Food / My Cat Eating A Dust Bunny From Under The Couch
Me Currently / Dreams
When You See Your Friend Liked A Reel / Without Sending It To You
Then:/If you use good punctuation, you are educated./Now:/If you use good punctuation, you are AI.
I think I just discovered / Ant Fight Club
I Blow My Nose So I Can Breathe Again. / I Hear A Crackling Sound.
Menu is in our app / Scan this QR Code for the menu / The menu is written on the walls / Here you go, a physical menu
When You’re Sat In The Front Of The Uber And You Can Hear Your Mates Having A Laugh In The Back
Don’t worry, it’s all your fault.
They Don’t Know We Only Exist Because Someone Needed A Relatable Meme Template
Don’t care + running + jumping + skipping + hopping + having fun + playing
Can u imagine how hot I’d be if I worked out & ate healthy? / I’m not gonna do it but can u imagine?
Types of brain fog:/ Brain is primordial sludge & you are drowning in it / U are a ghost and nothing is real / Mental equivalent of attempting to stream some high-res video game when all you have is dial-up / The thing you want to articulate is *right there* but you’re just scrabbling at it like a cat continually failing to catch the bird on the other side of the window / The Void
Bears in the wild love digging up and eating carrots. / Carrots are also packed with alpha-carotene, a nutrient proven to improve sleep.
Character concept: Barbarian who was not the chosen one and couldn’t draw the sword from the stone. / Instead, they just lift the whole thing and use it as a big hammer
Dogs:/Also dogs:/Yea I ate your underwear, a stick from the backyard, and rotting garbage from the dumpster. What of it?/You switched dog food brands and now I have diarrhea…
If you think my room is a mess, you should see the rest of my life / Spoiler alert: It’s also a mess
Friend 1: “Where’s the best place to stand during an earthquake?” / Friend 2: “A doorway, a car, under the bed?” / Me, An Intellectual:
When your friends come to you for advice / Good good, you’ve come to the right place.
When your dog brings back the stick you threw / You get what you f**kin deserve