Me posting normie shit a year ago thinking i was cool/Me looking back now
I have the perfect body / But it’s in my basement and starting to stink
Admit it youve tried to balance the light switch right in the middle at least once in your life
9. Your cat will arrive fully assembled but may need time to expand after unboxing
Me I feel stressed / Someone Relax / Me Oh yeah thanks I feel fantastic wonderful advice
Remember at school when u spent the whole lesson flicking thru a textbook to find the weirdest looking person / Telling ur friend that’s u
Me when I’m watching something on my phone with my headphones on while eating and someone still tries to talk to me
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?/Don’t know, don’t care.
When the intern asks what does that mean after you explained in a detailed description of what tf you mean
When ur extremely stressed out but u keep a positive attitude bc u kno this too shall pass
Today was the last day I could make a salad with this lettuce / Then a lightbulb fell off my shelf and shattered perfectly into the bowl / I literally just got permission from God to order pizza
Thinks up an idea for a silly quick piece/Okay haha let’s whip something up real quick/Idea gets more complicated/Idea gets more complicated/Idea gets more complicated/Idea gets more complicated/Oh no
The difference between food and my girlfriend / It makes me happy / Always there for me / Fills my empty stomach and soul / Idk I don’t have one
Sorry could you please tell me what I did wrong so I don’t do it again thank you / That’s even ruder to ask
Stares at the menu for 5 minutes / Orders the same pasta for the 105th time