When you wake up from a dream that was 1000 times better than your own life
When you wake up and your throat hurts and you already know what’s gonna happen for the next few days
When you start getting your life on track and going to therapy for your depression / Happy is that you
When you accept a car ride from your friend even though you know they are a dangerous driver
Partner oh jeeez there’s a huge spider in the corner of the bathroom kill it kill it killitkillitkillit / Me who noticed the spider a week ago and already named it todd and didn’t mention it in hopes my partner wouldn’t notice so i could have a lil bathroom buddy
When you and your friend try out a new game for the first time / Lvl 8000 tryhard / Lvl 9 / Lvl 12
What I mean when I say I have a busy day ahead / To do list / Overthink / Miss someone I never had / Go have a snack / Overthink
Me watching my roommate put 2 minutes and 50 seconds into the microwave / Because the instructions said 2.5 minutes
Dad son grab me a flathead screw driver / The screwdriver drawer / Dad son grab me a phillips head screw driver / The screwdriver drawer
When I can’t decide between 2 options so I ask someone to help me choose but they chose the one I didn’t want
When the caffeine wears off but it’s too late in the day for another coffee
When the bell rings and the teacher says nobody leaves until I dismiss you / This is not a door
My subconscious mind carefully creating the most engaging and interesting dream sequence just before the alarm is about to go off
Me puts pair of socks in the washing machine / One of the socks / I’m going now
50 Nerds of Grey / My professor looking at the assignment I handed in wondering why it starts with Sure here is a 4000 word essay answered like a University student
My girlfriend who isn’t hungry / My fries
My dog begging for whatever is on the stove / Completely unaware he’s asking for boiling water
Me in the middle of my responsibilities
Math class most days / Math class after I miss a single day
Madison / Met a woman in a bathroom line last night who told me she was a writer / And I said I was one too and she was like oh we’re that Spiderman meme / And then we both immediately instinctively pointed fingers at each other and I’m still thinking about it
I love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty / I’m just like lmao u should see my life
Me ignores the injury goes for a run / Injury still exists / Haha damn
How it feels when your old co-workers update you on the company’s downfall after you left
How I sleep after eating a salad for breakfast / And then coming home from work / And eating 3000 calories of the most metabolism-destroying shit known to man