Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store
When someone finally apologizes for something they did but they have done so much shit since before realizing they were wrong you are just like / Damn I kinda do not care
Me seeing the movie for the third time / People who spoil some movies
Package has Fragile written all over it / The delivery guy / Throw
My neighbor explaining to me the correct way to get the cat in the carrier.
Me 10 minutes into the movie I spent an hour deciding on
When little kids turn around in their booth and stare at you while ur eating
10:30 PM / I’ll sleep early let me scroll 15 minutes on Reddit / 2:30 AM
I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up
The bumper sticker on my car / Honk if you think I’m sexy / Me not moving my car after the traffic light turns green / They love me
Fellas who invite introverts to functions but respect their answer / Solid friendship habits / Dudes who let the quiet friend finish a story
Cat rolls over on back pet me / Me this is a trap / Cat it’s not i promise / Me goes to pet belly / Cat claws and bites my hand ahaha have some bunny kicks as a treat you stupid idiot
Can we get serotonin / My brain we have serotonin at home / The serotonin at home / Cortisol
Babe we have guests go get the fancy pillows / Heinz tomato ketchup / It has to be heinz
My nose / A smear of my shit on toilet paper / My hand
A day in my life / Low battery 10% of battery remaining dismiss / Low battery 20% / Low battery 10% battery remaining / Low battery
Friend why are you so sad/Me i lost my job/Friend you shouldn’t feel sad some people are having it much wors/Me/Sad is sad
Me Yo pass the garden hose i need to water these flowers / Friend Sure have fun man / Me
Me Where the hell is my phone / Blankets / Gone Reduced to atoms
When you stand to get off the bus whilst it’s slowing down
When you hear your knees crack while you’re squatting / SOS / Help
When the stranger you been playing video games with all night has to go / I have been and always shall be your friend
Wheels on the shopping cart be like / We’re going in circles / We are going around in circles / We’re going in circles / We’re going in circles
Walking from a friend’s house late at night / Me who’s paranoid