Boss to me we need to make some edits by tomorrow / Me to boss sure we’ll do it / My mind
When they ask me during the interview what is my desired salary but they refuse to tell me their salary range
Me buys 30$ of fresh fruit from the grocery store / The fruit 24hrs later
When the barber that always gives you a shitty haircut takes more time than usual / Hollup let him cook
Left / Exit 12 / Punish the one student / Punish the whole class / Teachers when a student does something that pisses them off
That’s not how you do it / Use the fucking clip / Stop being so fucking lazy / Wtf
The illusion / Going to bed early / Taking melatonin / Still getting up tired and/or oversleeping / Of free choice
Sitting down on the cold toilet seat like
There should be a reality show where flat-earthers have to find the edge of the world
When the person who doesn’t talk in the group chat starts typing
My purse strap eyeballing me after I manage to shove yet another five pounds of bullshit I don’t actually need today in it
My mom blowing on my injured knee / 7 year old me who fell in the gravel of the playground
My goal / Me everyday / Sarcasm
Me listening to my best friend’s problems / That were 200% his fault and 1000% avoidable
Me experiencing life as nonstop suffering / Me experiencing life as nonstop comedy / Me experiencing both of these states at the same time
When you know the person is lying already but you keep pushing them to see how far they’re willing to go with the lies/Really
When the fart came out hotter than the sun’s core so you know it’s gonna smell smell / I must get out of here as quick as possible
I should have bought bitcoin back in 2010 / Me / You were three years old in 2010 / Also Me
I love this person so much they are such an important part of my life I wouldn’t be the same without them how can I convey that to them / Sends them a meme out of nowhere at 2am perfect
When your internet goes down and you get a message from your ISP telling you how to fix it by downloading something / Suspicion increase
Me every moment of every day / I am so very very very very very very tired