Everyone else spring is here the weather is beautiful
When you spent all night flying chaotically around a stationary light instead of trying to find a mate or food / Why are you like this / Moth memes what a time to be alive
Realizing I had a typo when I thought I sounded smart and cool
Rat / Dog / Cat / Horse
People who hate each other / Kiss kiss kiss
One of these mfs is lying
My clothes are divided into 3 categories / Summer / Winter / Just in case I lose weight
Me after doing 1 out of the 20 things I’m supposed to do / Mm I must slumber
When you let out a real nasty silent fart in the grocery store and 10 seconds later you hear someone yell / Goddamn what fucking died
Miketooch / Kangaroonemesis / Im not sure the new IT guy knows what he is doing / Nonsense give him a promotion and his own corner office
Me runs for 2 mins / My heart if you don’t stop I will
Bubblegum / Ice cream wooden sticks
Me I don’t always date the same type / My ex’s / 7up / Sprite / Sierra Mist flavored soda
I could really do with one of these at work / I’ll try being nicer / You try being smarter
Me goes to bed / My bladder
Fixed my damn clock today / Hate spring forward
Enjoy a glass of 100% ice cube juice / Today
Does she even text you first?/Me with no self respect:/I am the one who knocks
When u cannot find your keys for 3 seconds / And immediately declare them lost / Lost
Cats when they want food / Also cats when you want to play with them
Me snuggled in bed ahhh this is so comfy / Legs so comfy and warm / Feet so comfy and warm / Hands so comfy and warm / Bladder heyyyyyyyyyy
Me scanning all my lessons a night before the exam thinking I have photographic memory
All I can think about is my lunch
I’ve completed my homework / But at what cost / Alarm set for 5 hours and 26 minutes from now