Me visiting a friend / His mom are u going to eat / Friend no / Me / Why did I come then
Me trying not to move an inch when bus driver applies sudden brake so people around me thinks I’m strong asf
Me starting a new annual tradition of treating my parents to a home-cooked meal / Surprise mother father
How it feels when it’s cold outside and you sneeze
How can I transfer money that is in my mind to my bank account / Sarcasm
Teacher extends the due date of the project / Everyone who didn’t do the project / The dude who stayed up all night doing the project / Me who didn’t even know there was a project
Me checks if wallet and keys are still in my pockets / Me 2 seconds later / X doubt
Cat come pet me / Cat after 0.2 seconds
Car salesman slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car / Slaps roof of car
Without a job / With a job / Broke and miserable
“Ass hair is useless” guys when they shave it and the ass sweat runs down their leg because the dam is gone / I get it now.
Babe it’s 11am time for your pain au chocolat / Yay
You have failed the English exam / Unpossible
Set your WiFi password to 24446666688888888 / So when your friend asks you for the the password just tell them it’s 12345678
The game when you were a kid / Also the game when you were replaying it
Thank you for contacting the abyss / Your scream is very important to us
Me flirting in the class / So what school do you go to
New relationship energy / Attention span / Bank account / Relationship capacity
I feel so alone I wish someone would care about everything going on in my head and love me unconditionally / I’m a terrible person No one deserves to be around this I need to get everyone away from me / My trauma brain 24/7 without breaks
My therapist leading me through guided imagery now imagine yourself floating serenely down the river / Me
Me / My not hungry girlfriend / My fries
Monday morning after party
Microphonophobia / Microphonophobia is a fear of microphones.
Other people it’s too far we should call an Uber / Me and that one friend who enjoys walking and long conversations