How I keep in touch with old friends / Actually talk to them / Tag them in memes
Her closet / My closet
Delivery will be between 8.00am and 8.00pm / 8.01pm
Me complaining for eye pain due to working all day in front of a screen / Me as soon as I arrive at home / To the computer
Moms / Various Pokémon / Are these Pikachus?
Me after finding my old drawing book My drawings couldn’t have been that bad / Also me 2 seconds after opening it
Did you know / You got a headache because your brain is done with your stupid decisions / You pathetic imbecile
Who lives in a pineapple under the street?
When you’re too poor to afford therapy / Guess I’ll just turn everything into a joke
When you press the X button on mobile ad and didn’t go to the appstore / The sniper
Flindari this one is 80 / Watching antiques roadshow and this lady brought her uranium glass collection which is cool but there’s this fucked up little creature on the table that no one is acknowledging
Trying to get out of bed / Try again / Help / Cancel
Alyx vance whoa gordon that was close that zombie almost cut my life in half 2 times / The barnacle on the ceiling
When you’re texting that one friend / But their 10-minute active window is over / Now so you gotta wait 3-6 business days
Rate my grandma’s setup
Pee color chart / What / Really have to see a doctor / See a doctor / You need the drink more / More water / Drink more water
Nice cable you got there / Be a shame if someone was to / Chew it
My mood when I say Im okay
Me at 3am / Missing the way things were / Having an existential crisis / Feeling hopelessly alone / Stressing out about the future
I’m not romantic but this is how I would peel an orange for you / Sarcasm
I’m not superstitious but I think / There are better decorations for a router
I just worry it makes me look middle aged
1 Drop tea bag / 2 Pour boiled water / 3 Let it cool down / 5 Min / 4 Forget you made tea