Me on my CV I am a highly motivated individual / Also me after being asked to do one thing / A Marat David
Copyright is bad fuck copyright / Free software licenses is also copyright
Finishing up in the bathroom / Yeah this is enough for the next person / Next trip to the bathroom / Who the F**K
Equipment used to make visual effects in movies / Equipment used to make sound effects in movies
Dude why are you growing a beard It doesn’t fit you / Me without a beard
Interviewer Do you have any special talents / Me I am able to determine someone’s precise emotional level just from their text messages
Wait it’s all flat / Always has been / And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
As I suspected, you’re full of bacteria / We’re going to have to throw you away
When you take a nap after work and suddenly it’s 7am / Laughing nervously what the fuck
Caitlin / 50 Nerds of Grey / Relative you know about computers right / Me has a degree in computer science no
When you get shafted so hard you don’t even rage you just stare at the screen like this
When you’ve been watching criminal minds for 3 hours and you hear footsteps
You go to the bathroom to take a dump / Its just a fart
What gives me a sense of satisfaction at work / Praise from my boss / Having a great performance review / Getting a substantial raise / My boss being out of town for a week / Workplace satire
We all had that one friend
When your friend and their gf are having a fight and all you can do is sit there awkwardly petting the dog
Taco bell ain’t that bad / Mfs after eating there
Somebody who doesn’t care about me / My dumbass in love
Laundry / Washing 30 minutes / Drying 60 minutes / Putting away 7 to 10 business days
Me when I’m dreaming and the alarm goes off / How can I be sure this is not part of the illusion
Me reading the all-staff friendly reminder email that is absolutely about me
Me just trying to get some sleep before work in the morning / My cat sitting on my chest giving me the suffocating to death dream again
Me in social situations / Nervous
Me chugging water in the kitchen at 3 am while also watching out for ghosts and demons / 10/23/17 4:12 am