When you read all the terms and conditions and then decide not to install the application
When you hit the age limit on lego and you need to improvise
When you check your phone real quick in the middle of the night
Whales hunt in groups and trap fish in their air bubbles / Sharks use their speed and ferocity to their advantage / Jellyfish / Stay hydrated
Nobody / Us lining up to race outside as a kid
Unhated bugs annual meeting / Maybe next time we need bug sized furniture instead of human sized furniture / Agreed / Yup / Indeed
The tomato I took off my burger watching me put ketchup up on it
When they say they love all your flaws and you weren’t aware you had any
Setting alarms every ten minutes so that I’ll definitely wake up on time / My half-asleep brain with enough control over my body to turn off every single one of those bad boys
Steam’s new disclaimer / Purchasing a game doesn’t mean you own it / Gamers / And so began the great pirate era
Everyone complaining about loot boxes being gambling for children / Pokemon and yu gi oh card producers
Playing The Sims and knowing this is the only time I will ever own property and be in control of my life / Half crying half laughing
People when they turn 50 / Throws a big birthday party / Me when I turn 50 / Celebrating 50 years of failure
People telling me that I’m a good listener / Socially awkward me who doesn’t know how to reply
Spotify / Volume / Mute / Do not disturb on / No messages / New messages will appear here / Only me only me
My plant grows an extra leaf over night / Me next morning / I’m really proud of you
My cat when he lies on me / My cat when I lie on him
I have two sides / Loser on social media / Loser in real life
Literally anything else on my phone / Me / The reason I opened my phone
How it started how it’s going / So now even trucks getting more love than me
Fuck zodiac signs how do you hang toilet paper / Under / Over / Me
Me fills up my dogs food bowl / My dog / Now say my name
Batman now talk / Dude who was doordashing the jokers food
Deep sea fish in the bottom of a trench / Deep sea fish when they are taken onto the surface