People who take naps are the real heroes. / It takes courage to wake up twice in one day…
When you come home smelling like another cat
Those Who Know / Those Who Don’t Know
This is a very clever optical illusion!/If you look long enough you’ll see two clowns looking at each other.
Parasite: *Steal essencials from host* / Host: *Dies* / Parasite:
Social Interaction / Weewoo Weewoo
Congratulations!!! / You’ve reached a save point! Rest here awhile and once you’ve recovered, may you find the strength to finally fold the laundry that’s been sitting on the chair all weekend!!!
This is 110% me. Please do not take it personal./Why I didn’t text you back:/I was asleep/I was driving/I was ignoring you/I forgot/I saw your text and told myself that I was going to respond, but I wanted to finish what I was doing first. After that, I got side-tracked and went to do something else and completely forgot your text even existed because I was stuck in my own tiny world until I went to text you days or even weeks later about something completely unrelated
When you, an actor, play a bad guy so well fans start sending you, an actor, hate mail and death threats:/They hate me.
When Someone Mistreated You, And Now You Have To Imagine A Universe Where You Died, And They Finally Feel Sorry And Miserable
Took 28 years to realise that no matter what the meeting is about, if you randomly chime in with ‘it’s just about finding that balance’ people will always agree.
My stomach’s ability to store any amount of food / My brain’s ability to store information
My “Going Away” cake from my last day at work at an IT company./Hammond Sweets/Windows XP/Job failed successfully./OK
My family watching a movie / Me explaining where we’ve seen each actor before
Me Trying To Watch Youtube / Skiping The First Ad / The Second Ad
Me trying desperately to focus my eyes to type & send that perfect drunk text I know that I’ll regret tomorrow
Me Being Broken But Still Working Because I Need Money To Exist:/ Стоп
I’m Not Saying I’m Definitely An NPC, But If I Am A Protagonist, The Game I’m Starring In Is Probably Free-To-Play./ Makes Sense:/ I Can Only Do Something Useful Once Every Few Hours/ Ads Are Everywhere/ The Pacing Seems Designed To Be Deliberately Frustrating/ A Lot Of The Hassle Would Go Away If Had A Ton Of Money
I Prefer The Real Adult Drink / I Said The Real Adult Drink / Perfection
I get hit by cars because you built roads in my home / You get hit by cars because you were looking at this meme / We are not the same.
When you are telling a story and all your friends lose interest but you still have that one supportive friend who is giving you all their attention
Excuse me sir I’m trying to leave
You know you’re an adult when grocery shopping feels like a mini vacation