Boss: Do you play in your workplace? / Me: No, never.
Interviewer: Describe yourself in five words / Me: / Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake
When that one friend who talks with no filter doesn’t change personality in front of your parents / Inner panic attack
Breaking Bad / Ben 10
When you bout to shoot a paper ball into the recycling bin and the whole class hyping you up
Me: Already in a terrible mood / My pocket / The door knob
Alarm set for 6:30am / My mom at 5:47am
A Dog Looks Up To You. / A Cat Looks Down On You. / A Pig Looks You In The Eye As An Equal
My Brain / Work Stress / Home Stress / Okay, I want a clean fight. Winner gets to make me forget about the other one for a little while
Being around cats makes you say things you never imagined you’d say in this life. / Like, “Why are you sleeping on my salad.”
Don’t get overwhelmed when realizing the “Silver lining” is a small part of a HUGE “Cloud” of bad stuff. / Realize that the CLOUD is just a small part of the bigger sky called life, which is boring without it ALL. / Life / Good Stuff/Silver Lining / Bad Stuff/Cloud
When You’re Having A Sleepover With The Boys And Are About To Fall Asleep, But Someone Makes A Loud Fart Noise
When you’re eating not to enjoy the food but / Just to gain some energy to get through the day
When you use a bunch of alternate accounts to back you up in an online argument:
When you start choosing drinks based on flavours and not by characters / Maybe I am an adult
When you make eye contact with the trash barber and his seat is open
Nobody:/ People With Brown Eyes When The Sun Hits Their Face At The Perfect Angle:
When an ad starts with “Wait, don’t skip this ad” / Skip
My Therapist: We Need To Talk About Your Childhood / My Brain: / No Memories Today / Thanks For Stopping By. There Aren’t Any Memories To See Today, But We’ll Let You Know When You Have Some To Look Back On.
One day I was born. / Then everything bothered me. / And that brings us up to date.
Real Friends Talk Shit To Your Face / And Say Nice Thing’s Behind Your Back
People when they break glass in real life / People when they break glass in Marvel’s movies
Computer Boots Up / Passed 7 Hours Stress Test / Passed 2 Hours Of Intense Gaming Loads / 2 Days Later While Playing Fucking Stardew Valley: / 🙁 / Your PC Ran Into A Problem And Needs To Restart. We’re Just Collecting Some Error Info, And Then We’ll Restart For You. / 20% Complete