The mucus in my congested nose when try blowing it out:/Well now I am not/Coming out
Me In Video Games Choosing The Best Choices For My Character / Me In Real Life Making Bad Decisions One After Another
“If You Sleep In The Afternoon, You Won’t Sleep At Night” / “Me In The Afternoon And At Night:”
Me If I Started Living Alone../Sarcasm
Me: “How Do I Look?” / My Mirror: / My Camera: / Amazing. / Normal. Ugly.
Me For The First Time At A New Workplace / Me After A Week / The Guy With 30+ Years Of Experience
Me: I’m worried about my future / Also me the whole day:
I don’t have time to fuck around. / * Fucks around * / Someday I’ll learn.
How sitting down on ur bed feels after a long dreadful day of being overstimulated in public
How People Think It Is:/Good Grades/Choose Two/Social Life/Enough Sleep/How It Really Is:/Friends/Class/Work/Family/Homework/Sleep/Hobbies/Food/Love Life/Extra-Curricular Activities/Resume Builders/Volunteering/Attempt To Do Everything Until Stress Takes Over And Things Start Slipping And You End Up Crying In Your Bed Deciding To Do None Of It And Just Watch T.V. To Escape To Somewhere Else.
“Garbage” In A Cartoon Starterpack / A Few Identifiable Food Scraps / Exactly 1 Tin Can / An Entire Fish Skeleton For Some Reason / Maybe A Crumpled Paper Towel / The Rest Is Mountains Of Mysterious Green Sludge
*Friend shows a meme that’s 0.175489 seconds old* / Me: / I have seen it.
Finally old enough to do anything I want. / Too tired to actually do it.
Me: Eat a lot of calcium but I don’t drink enough water / My kidney:
Dad on his way to the bathroom at 5 a.m. to fart, grunt, and make gagging noises while he brushes his teeth
When your crush likes your Instagram Story but doesn’t reply to your texts / [Visible confusion]
Finally, an aisle that caters to my needs / Eternal Pain
Small child: *Absolutely incomprehensible gibberish* / Me: / Cheers I’ll drink to that bro
Pov: Your friend listening to you as you passionately recommend a series that you love / They will literally never watch a single episode of that show
You Go Outside And See The Sun Is Red / Panik / There Is Nothing Wrong And It’s Actually Beautiful / Kalm / It’s Actually Beautiful / Kalm
When Your Mom Is In The Store / And You’re Bored In The Car
When your house is haunted / But you don’t wanna move / Cause of the housing market / Gtfo my house bitch!
When someone asks my friend for a pen / And I see him pulling up the same pen he borrowed from me and never gave back: