A fire ant paddles away from the scene of the crime.
You listen to / I listen to / We are not the same
Words can’t describe how I feel right now / But numbers can 0/10
When your bestie is annoyed at you but you’re just like / Haha you love me
When u look around during the exam and nobody looks confused
Me I’ll travel when I get older when I have more money and more time / Me older
Wearing socks for 9 hours straight / Rewearing socks after taking them off
There’s just not enough time in the day / Screen time 11 hours 23 mins
An ad / The page I’m scrolling / My finger
The longer you watch the worse you feel / LG
That dopamine hit you get when you finally watch that movie that’s been in your watch list for a while
-15% / -40% / -50% / -90% / Visa / 7867 5678 2364 5976 / 12/15 / M Harry Callahan
When you’re halfway into a song and realize you haven’t appreciated it the way you should
Me searching my meme collection instead of using my vocabulary for a response in the comments section
Me putting a pair of socks in the washing machine / For one of you goodbye forever
Either God wants a sacrifice or this sheep has a quest for me
Me looking around to make sure no one saw me opening my account with $3 balance
Me I got paid today / Bills I got paid today
Me explaining to my wife that we didn’t save 100 on a 300 purchase that we didn’t need / Spending is spending
Me diving into the pool asap so nobody can see how fat and hairy I am
Me 0.000001s after entering a new game / I go to setting
Laptop is literally made for placing it on your lap / Also my laptop after 2 seconds of being on my lap / I am heat
If a movie character gets shot here they’re required to keep it to themselves for a while / Later in the movie they must open their shirt jacket revealing an alarming amount of blood followed by another character saying you’re hurt / This is law