Dr squeezes Does this hurt / Guy yes / Dr stops squeezing how about now / Guy it stopped / Dr that will be 600 dollars
Dog watch a term first used in 1700 / Dogs before 1700
I always want to say this in my last moments / What / Do you wanna see a dead body / Dies
Dude / Dearly adored girlfriend whom I love so very much
Be careful not to burn any bridges you might want to work here in the future / Me when I leave the company
Doctor are you drinking water regularly/Me yes/My kidney/Liar
5 year old me falls and hurts knee / Mom blows on the spot / The pain
When you’re reading a really popular book and it’s really really bad / I don’t hate it / I just don’t like it at all / And it’s terrible
When you have a really cool thing to say in the comments but the post already has +600 comments
Will you press the button / You have a 90% chance of having 1 Trillion legal and tax free / But / You have a 10% chance of becoming a cat
Elementary school / Yo that’s a sick Pikachu hat / Thx / High school / Ew you still like Pokemon fuckin nerd / Stfu / College / Yo that’s a sick Pikachu hat / Thx
When you buy a game a few months after its release and play online for the first time
Walking past a stranger / My brain / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Don’t do it / Me
Me wakes up after a long weekend of indulgence and procrastination / Deadlines
Villain in a kids movie dies brutally / The characters after