When you’ve been venting to your friend about your most soul crushing gut wrenching heartbreaking experience and they just boldly reply with same
My bed for me / The same bitchass bed when I chuck my phone on it
Somebody staring at me / Me
When you’re scrolling through your photos and get to the time when you were at your prime and didn’t even know it
Dog salesman pets head of dog / This good boy can fit so much fuckin love in him
+10 Armor +30 Frost Resistance -10 / Movement Speed
My brain / Me who made a meme and got lots of upvotes / I would like to award you the highest honor I can bestow / Serotonin
I just cleared out some space in the freezer / Sounds much more productive than I just polished off another pint of ice cream
I have two sides / Bawling / I’m pretty darn cute / Balling
Person: i hate you / Person: i hate your favorite character
When you see your crush / Without your love delusion for the first time / And realize how your friends see them all this time
My friends keep reminding me to hide my personal data while browsing online / Me using private tabs on chrome to answer personality quizzes
Shower thoughts / Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace
Are you going to sleep / Yes I am now shut up / Farts are just the ghosts of our food
Her he’s probably thinking about other girls / Him if two people on opposite sides of the world simultaneously drop a piece of bread then the earth briefly becomes a sandwich
Changing tires is my passion
Before graduation/After graduation
About to lose an argument/Just turn it into flirting/Relationship problems require relationship solutions
You wake up early to be productive / I wake up early to waste more time / We’re not same
When you didn’t understand a single word bro said and you just look at him like this
When the morning’s sun glares at you through the curtains / Knock it off I work nights
When someone gives you directions but you still go the wrong way / I thought you said weast
Pov what my crush sees / When she enter the class
Time spent wrapping presents/Actually wrapping the presents/Looking for the tape/Looking for the scissors/Moving the cat