When I’m with my boyfriend and I catch someone staring at him
Me I’m gonna have a good day today / Work / The fuck you are
Me: I have a song stuck in my head but I can’t remember the name / Friend: How does it go / Me / High pitched demonic screeching
Checking the temperature before getting in the shower
Game of the week / Which window is the ghost hiding in / Answer / The ghost is hiding in none of the windows this is because the ghost is shy and also right behind you
Errors in the picture / 1 The console is off / 2 Two kids playing super mario bros at the same time / 3 The super mario bros cartridge is out of the console / 4 The console is not even plugged in / 5 The yellow-black sweater kid can’t see a shit from that angle / 6 The blue-white sweater kid is either not looking at the screen or has a serious case of strabismus / 7 The mother is only watching the dust over the TV
Looking at posts from people trying to sell mirrors is my new favourite thing
Play game/Encounter a puzzle/Stand idle to think for a second/Maybe I should try climbing/Perhaps there’s some ledge I can climb/Lets look out for somewhere to climb/Hey up there is that a ledge I bet I can climb that/Immediately uninstall the game
Musicians when their whole life is falling apart / But at least now they can finally write a new song
Any other plant / Potatos / Water soil temperature basically everything needs to be perfect / Dirt optional
Pov You’re a retired Austrian scientist and just got a box delivered you didn’t order / Schröödingeer
When you’re in a train and didn’t put your hands on the safety hand rails so you need to concentrate your chakra on your feet
When your soul comes back into your body
There was a guy doing the airplane with his daughter on the beach / And my dad asked if he could try omg
Tinder date so your bio says you like going on adventures / Me / Mental illness is an adventure
She found a way to bug me at eye level / When I’m on the toilet
Scientists have invented a bracelet that gives you an electric shock every time you swear / Me at work
Once I began working in IT I finally understood the scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke’s questions he just dies.
No matter how cold it is outside/Someone is still sleeping with the fan on/Well of course I know him He is me
My pillow imagining it’s a gf / Me
My mental health that I have worked hard on improving / Me
My Dad’s calculator / First grade math homework
Absolutely no one / My cats at 339am
My cat came home wearing an armadillo shell / Apparently my cat parties harder than i do