When little kids turn around in their booth and stare at you while ur eating
10:30 PM / I’ll sleep early let me scroll 15 minutes on Reddit / 2:30 AM
I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up
The bumper sticker on my car / Honk if you think I’m sexy / Me not moving my car after the traffic light turns green / They love me
Fellas who invite introverts to functions but respect their answer / Solid friendship habits / Dudes who let the quiet friend finish a story
Cat rolls over on back pet me / Me this is a trap / Cat it’s not i promise / Me goes to pet belly / Cat claws and bites my hand ahaha have some bunny kicks as a treat you stupid idiot
Can we get serotonin / My brain we have serotonin at home / The serotonin at home / Cortisol
Babe we have guests go get the fancy pillows / Heinz tomato ketchup / It has to be heinz
My nose / A smear of my shit on toilet paper / My hand
A day in my life / Low battery 10% of battery remaining dismiss / Low battery 20% / Low battery 10% battery remaining / Low battery
Friend why are you so sad/Me i lost my job/Friend you shouldn’t feel sad some people are having it much wors/Me/Sad is sad
Me Yo pass the garden hose i need to water these flowers / Friend Sure have fun man / Me
Me Where the hell is my phone / Blankets / Gone Reduced to atoms
When you stand to get off the bus whilst it’s slowing down
When you hear your knees crack while you’re squatting / SOS / Help
When the stranger you been playing video games with all night has to go / I have been and always shall be your friend
Wheels on the shopping cart be like / We’re going in circles / We are going around in circles / We’re going in circles / We’re going in circles
Walking from a friend’s house late at night / Me who’s paranoid
Me building a big lego set / That one page I missed making me go back 80 steps
That face you make after ending a one-sided friendship in the most devastating way possible