God: Performs miracles / Humans: Invent camera / God since that day: / Well now I am not doing it
When I finally clean my room and I don’t want to mess it up again:
50 Nerds of Grey / Debra / Does anyone else look in the fridge for a snack only to find you have no snack-worthy snacks so then you lower your snackspectations and eat like a single slice of cheese and a random grape..?!
True:/Dating me is stressful/Dating you?/Bro even talking with you is stressful
Canned soda when it’s in the can: / Canned soda when it’s poured into a glass:
When you bought a new game / But it’s more dialogue than gameplay
Me applying to jobs with zero work experience and nothing to put on my resume / Alex / 25 / Former Child / Oceanside, CA
A Collection Of Low Res Pokemon
Word document normally / Word document when you slighty move an image by 1mm
When your friend shows you a meme you have already seen but you laugh anyway / My mommy raised a gentleman.
When you have work tomorrow so you’re tempted to drink but you also have a strong willpower
When you get a small cut on your finger / School nurse / Life hack chanels / Every dad in the observable universe
The sun carefully calculating the exact gap in the blinds to shine through while I’m using my computer to fucking blind me
Me Entering The Shower / The Shampoo Bottles I Didn’t Even Touch
65 People Have Been Killed In This Mansion And There Are Bodies Buried In The Backyard / The Family In The Horror Movie: / Is For Me?
The 5-second rule doesn’t exist / The 5-second rule doesn’t exist
People who annoy me / People I annoy / Best friend
Other’s understanding / My understanding
Mom: Oh my god this room is a mess were you raised in a barn? / Perhaps
Medically Accurate Muscle Chart:/Absolute Fuckwaffle/Traitor/Jackass/And Then There’s This Asshole
Me trying to communicate my want for affection
Me As Soon As I Get Home / My Bed
Me after I raise my hand in a class thinking I know the answer, but end up being totally wrong
No One:/Kickballs That Have Been Stuck In The Middle School Gym Ceiling Since 2011: