Character concept: Barbarian who was not the chosen one and couldn’t draw the sword from the stone. / Instead, they just lift the whole thing and use it as a big hammer
Dogs:/Also dogs:/Yea I ate your underwear, a stick from the backyard, and rotting garbage from the dumpster. What of it?/You switched dog food brands and now I have diarrhea…
If you think my room is a mess, you should see the rest of my life / Spoiler alert: It’s also a mess
Friend 1: “Where’s the best place to stand during an earthquake?” / Friend 2: “A doorway, a car, under the bed?” / Me, An Intellectual:
When your friends come to you for advice / Good good, you’ve come to the right place.
When your dog brings back the stick you threw / You get what you f**kin deserve
The ring I bought for my girlfriend. / My last single friend. / Cast it into the fire! Destroy it! / Me, the fool in love. / No.
Me / Life Goals / The Inability To Jump
New piercing idea: The full-body piercing. / Let me know what you think
I Am Literally A Mute Button / Thank You For Changing My Life / You Can Unmute Them From Their Profile. Instagram Won’t Let Them Know You Muted Them / Mute Stories / Mute Stories And Posts / Cancel
Me Feeling Exhausted / *Drinks An Energy Drink* / Still Feeling Exhausted But Now With A Faster Heart Rate
When you wear a watch but still check your phone to see what time it is anyway:/Am I Retarded?
Stare into the void long enough and the void stares back.
Slimes in Minecraft / Slimes in Dark Souls / Slimes in Terraria / Slimes in Stardew Valley
OwO
Non-judgemental, But Still Very Aware Gaze
My Pinky Toe / The Wall Corner
My phone screen when I tilt it 2 millimeters:/My phone screen when I actually want it to fucking rotate:/Well now I am not doing it
My Pet: *Does Anything* / Me: / Why The Fuck / Are U So Cute?
Me And God Trying To Simultaneously Lead The Way In My Life / God / Me
Last month my cat disappeared. / A week ago I found him and brought him home. / Today my cat came back. / Now I have two identical cats. / The cats:
K-pop fans be like: “Which one is cuter?” / 2+2 / 2² / (-2)² / 2×2
Is my dysphoria giving me anxiety / Or is my anxiety giving me dysphoria