Waking up to pet the cat / She’s the one that woke you
The correct way to cut onions
Close your eyes bro / Ok bro / What do you see bro / Nothing bro / That’s physics without you bro / Brooooooo
Dog brain stick your head in it / Dog why / Dog brain just do it
Me who wash my hair with my eyes open / Satan with his army of 10000 demons
Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store
No ice cream no cigarettes / Unicorns are OK / Seems pretty reasonable
My sleepy ass / The cozy / This animal
Me after I peer pressure all my friends into getting fucked up
Memorized the enitre niehbourhood from their first tour / Made some cat friends and got himself a girlfriend / Then hunted rats to bring home as gifts / Ran straight into traffic
Teacher any questions / Me no / Teacher leaves / My confused ass / Wait no come back
Me browsing things I can’t afford as a kid / Me browsing things I can’t afford as an adult
Live look inside my body as soon as i finish my first cup of coffee and think i am ready to start working / Stomach / Transverse colon / Ascending colon / Ileocecal valve / Cecum / Jejunum / Descending colon
We usually think of mood as a scale from 1-5 / But there’s actually a negative scale too where the frown turns back into a smile but just a little insane
Spacedmom / Shout out the person at a social event who’s the first to say they’re going home and breaks the seal for the rest of the guests to be like Guess we’ll head out too
Me Gets a kill in an online game / The 12 year old with a potato quality mic / High-pitched demonic screeching
Me licking lips in anticipation I’m nervous I’ve never done a bungee jump before / Instructor don’t lick my lips again
ChatGPT after a 5-minute talk with me
Me why doesn’t anyone hit me up anymore / Also me has become the most boring texter ever never responds is always asleep
When you’re a little different but your friends still accept you the way you are
When your friend tells you they have a PS5 but you just bought the KFC gaming console / Signature look of superiority