Top-ranked players who play 10 hours+ a day / Me trying to have fun
Perks of living with a dog / Personal space / Quiet time / Clean floor / Uninterrupted meals
People with food allergies having an allergic reaction / Lactose intolerant people not caring about the consequences
Lmao would’ve pissed me tf off / My therapist gave me this and said that’s you
Me using an entire bottle of bug spray for 1 spider
Me sitting infront of PC/Short moment of happiness while seeing a funny meme
Me callously calculating my behaviour in order to convince you I have emotions / Should add up to normal humanity
Masks / Glasses / Ears / Earrings / Earphones
Hey are you sleeping / Great I’m shutting down every single muscle in your body upon starting the rem stage of sleep Really hope that you are not conscious right now because if you are you might start seeing some weird shit
I’m going to get in shape starterpack / 1 week in / Fitness isn’t just a hobby it’s a lifestyle / 2 weeks in / I’ll sleep in today I’ll exercise tomorrow / 3 weeks in / I’m allowed to eat junk food because I’m exercising / 1 month in / Well fuck
In the morning it’s just a chair / In the afternoon yep just a chair / At night / I see a little silhouetto of a man
I give you one of my white marshmallows if you give me your rare red marshmallow / Ok
By the ground spot/White spot tasteless/Orange spot delicious/By the webbing/Smaller webbing bland watermelon/Larger webbing sweet watermelon/By gender/Male elongated watery/Female larger sweet/By the stem tail/Green stem green watermelon/Dry stem ripe watermelon/How my dad finds the best melons
Felt cute might get hit by an asteroid later idk
Everyone asks Where’s the Loch Ness Monster / But no one asks How’s the Loch Ness Monster
Oop shit i got this / Me / An awkward thing i just accidentally said without thinking / Something infinitely fucking weirder
7 years old me trying to look cool / The candle
When you said you gonna get up early but you was sleeping thru all the alarms / There was an attempt
Me flirts / My brain / You have zero chance to hit
Mom You have 14 apples and then you eat 2 how many you have left / Me 6 / Mom You have 14 apples and then you eat 2 how many apples are left / Me
Why dont humans have a specific noise that means there are bees here lets leave immediately why are elephants more advanced than us / We do have a specific noise it sounds like this / There are bees here lets leave immediately
When your about to throw up / But you swallow your own puke it tastes disgusting
When you get a brain transplant do you stay with your current body and have to get used to a new brain or do you move with your brain to a new body and have to get used to everything else