Me: Oh I Can Just Eat This Now And Burn The Calories Off Later / Me, Later, In Bed:
8:00 AM: Too tired to think / Noon: Too tired to think / 5:00 PM: Too tired to think / Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles??
My Laptop’s Ram / Google Chrome Tab
Bonk
You’ll feel refreshed after a nice weekend / Me at work on Monday:
You feel bad for me because you care about me / I feel bad for you because you care about me / We are not the same
Me wondering if I’m getting more mature / Or becoming more boring
When they ask you what’s wrong / But things are too wrong to even be talked about
They Locked Him Away For Being Too Powerful / Will Bite
The fingerprint sensor when I actually try to open my phone / I’ve never met this man in my life / The fingerprint sensor when I accidentally touch it for 1 nanosecond
When you slightly increase the volume just before the chorus / Deejay
Me: I Think I Want To Stay Single / Inner Me: Like You Have A Choice
I Wish All / People Who Decided To Take A “Short Nap” At 5pm / A Very Pleasant / 3 AM
My Workout Playlist / How It Started / How It’s Going
My daughter tells me you’re a commissioned artist / Yes, I make AI Ghibli art for a fee of $1 per image / You have exactly 10 seconds to get the fuck out of my house.
Me when I was 7 / Wow, cool card game! / Me when I’m 27 / Synchro this, xyz that, special summon, link up these, pendulum those, etc.
Me saying “But hey, things happen” after telling the most traumatic event of my life
Me Making Sure The 15-second Music On My Story Is Perfect
Me just trying to order lunch / My crippling anxiety
Me Before Laser Eye Surgery:/Me After Laser Eye Surgery:
When You Lock The Doors 2 Minutes Before Closing And A Customer Tries To Come In
Before / After / In Only 2 Weeks, John Lost 2 Weeks.
If they put a 100 mill and a book on how to make a 100 mill on a table in front of me, I’m taking the book. The real understand / How to make 100 mil / Shoulda took the money dumbass