Did you know / You got a headache because your brain is done with your stupid decisions / You pathetic imbecile
Who lives in a pineapple under the street?
When you’re too poor to afford therapy / Guess I’ll just turn everything into a joke
When you press the X button on mobile ad and didn’t go to the appstore / The sniper
Flindari this one is 80 / Watching antiques roadshow and this lady brought her uranium glass collection which is cool but there’s this fucked up little creature on the table that no one is acknowledging
Trying to get out of bed / Try again / Help / Cancel
They dont know I’m Im not using sync / They dont know I’m Im using sync
Alyx vance whoa gordon that was close that zombie almost cut my life in half 2 times / The barnacle on the ceiling
When you’re texting that one friend / But their 10-minute active window is over / Now so you gotta wait 3-6 business days
Rate my grandma’s setup
Pee color chart / What / Really have to see a doctor / See a doctor / You need the drink more / More water / Drink more water
Nice cable you got there / Be a shame if someone was to / Chew it
My mood when I say Im okay
Me at 3am / Missing the way things were / Having an existential crisis / Feeling hopelessly alone / Stressing out about the future
I’m not romantic but this is how I would peel an orange for you / Sarcasm
I’m not superstitious but I think / There are better decorations for a router
I just worry it makes me look middle aged
1 Drop tea bag / 2 Pour boiled water / 3 Let it cool down / 5 Min / 4 Forget you made tea
Smokey loves weed / @420iloveweed / Holiday rules / 1 Do not go into debt trying to show people you love them / 2 Do not go home to see family if it damages your mental health / 3 If someone comments on your weight eat them
Damn I need to get ready / Also me for 57 minutes
When your coworker asks a question that could’ve been answered with a Google search
Bottomshelfvodka / Congratulations
New game / Continue / Exit / Vintage story / Pin to taskbar / Close window / Task manager / End task
When you say you’re now breathing manually to others but you’re now also breathing manually / I’ve won but at what cost