Me trying to avoid eye contact with the person sitting next to me on the bus
New rule bathroom light stays on
My perfectly valid argument / Voice crack
Exploding diarrhea / My clenched anus / My family quietly sleeping at 2am
Mosquito / Tiny fiend evil / Armor class 27 Where the fuck is it / Hit points 1 1d4 -5 / Speed 0 ft fly 15 ft / STR 1 -5 / DEX 24 +7 / CON 1 -5 / INT 1 -5 / WIS 5 -3 / CHA 1 -5 / Saving throws Dex +10 / Skills Stealth +13 / Condition Immunities blinded charmed deafened frightened grappled incapacitated prone restrained stunned / Senses passive Perception 7 / Languages / Challenge 5 1800 XP / I know it’s here somewhere Until one of the players rolls a high enough Perception check to beat the Mosquito’s Stealth the Mosquito is effectively Invisible when it is moving / Sneaky bastard If the Mosquito has not bitten anyone this round it has advantage on its stealth checks / Actions / Bite The Mosquito targets one opponent and makes a roll of stealth against its passive perception If it succeeds the target suffers 1 piercing damage Once the mosquito has bitten someone it rolls stealth with disadvantage for the rest of the round / Reactions / Skedaddle Once per round the Mosquito can use its reaction to add +3 to its AC If this reaction results in a missed melee attack the attack instead goes to the creature the Mosquito is currently closest to
Joratedlegs / More reasons im a NPC / If i stand still for too long i start doing idle animations / Will only talk to people if they start conversation first / My walking speed is too fast to be walking and too slow to be running / If you talk to me too many times i start repeating dialogue / If you do a small favor for me i will follow you around without questions / I will drop a lot exposition if you ask / Sometimes i get stuck on doors / You may stand in a straight line from me holding a corpse but its more than 10 meters so i will not notice / Low HP
Me trying to do something right / It backfiring immensely
Dear ghosts if you can move stuff around and flicker lights / Then you can use a mop
How I look wondering why the doctor mentioned my posture
Hey / Hey / What the
When you get one of those random shooting pains in your chest and think you’re about to die
A helpful guide / Friend who makes wax and lots of honey / Friend who is extra fuzzy and really loves flowers / Friend who pollinates and eats pests but needs more personal space
Everyone at the party who took my lighter / Me when I get home
Delivery driver rings doorbell / My dog / Want me to kill him
Books I want to read / Me
Your mother pfft i can cut hair / You at school on Monday
Today’s moment to ponder / Why am I awake when I could be spending my time so much better sleeping
When you’re in the shower and get soap in your eyes / Rinses the soap off / Sector is clear / Opens eyes / That one bit you missed / Not clear not clear
When your manager says you can choose who has to work with you on a saturday / Work schedule / Death note
When you see a piece of bread laying on the sidewalk / Pathetic
When you replay an old game and realize it’s the memories you miss not the game
What is more likely to exist / An egg laying water dwelling mammal that sweats milk / A horse with a horn in its head
Optical illusion / Optical pain / These are two perfectly geometrical circles