There Is No Plan B. / There Is No Plan A. / I Have No Idea What I Am Doing
Spoon: *Has Left Over Nutella / Me To The Spoon:
Getting out of bed in the morning / Me
Boomer humor : I hate my wife / Millennials humor : I hate my life / Gen Z humor : / Do not worry mortals… / Everything is under control / Ctrl
Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance / No, no. He’s got a point.
Being a cat is not easy / Imagine you just wake up and random people come and start taking your photos
Are Ya Winning, Dad?
Sheriff And Outlaw: *Are Present In The Same Town* / The Town: / Ok, So Basically Im Very Smol
30 Year Old Guy Calling You “Bro” / 10 Year Kids Calling You “Uncle”
8 Yo Me Pretending I’m Drunk / 17 Yo Me Pretending I’m Sober
6th Grade nibba when they sit near the curtain and use their watch to reflect light on others in classroom / The power of the sun in the palm of my hand
When Youre Stalking Your Crush And You Accidentally Like One Of Their Posts On Instagram From 3 Years Ago / I Am Therefore Leaving Immediately For Nepal, Where I Intend To Live As A Goat.
You Are My World Bro / Wait, It’s Me?
Everyone else in school: yo its so cold outside, im freezing / That one mf:
Nate / @natemcgrady / What Is The Purpose Of This Part Of A Towel? / 4:08 PM · 3/13/25 · 77M Views
What Are U Reading / My Own Posts
Water bottle: *exists* / People in 2016: / I’ll fuckin’ flip it
When U R Writing An Essay And U Have Already Used “Because” Too Many Times / This Is Due To The Fact
Trying to get my wife in the car after a few hours of bottomless mimosas
Tote bag falling off / Damn shoulder
Three weeks on the supermarket shelf / Five minutes in my house
Me After Telling Cashier I Don’t Need The Receipt / To Save The Planet
When You’re Enjoying The Night With Your Friends & Suddenly Your Social Meter Runs Out
Me / Something that made my brain produce serotonin once and now I’m obsessed with it even though it no longer produces the desired effect