Me Deleting The Conversation After Getting Left On Read So I’m Not Reminded Of How Unwanted I Am / Loser
CO2: *Exists* / Earth: / Ight Imma Hea T
When I ask my friend for advice and they give me reality check instead of supporting my delusions
Arguing With Your Mom Be Like:/Sorry, That’s Not Correct./Sorry, Your Answer Is Not Correct./Correct Answer: 14/Your Answer: 14/Done
Me: Accidentally clicked a random video / Youtube Algorithm: / A new core memory!
Just because it’s Friday night and you may not have plans doesn’t mean you have to be alone and if you see this, you no longer are / Don’t be sad or feel lonely but if you do feel free to dm me or just strike up a convo with your fellow redditors / You’ve made it through another tough week and you will do it again so keep a smile on your face and fire in your heart
Cashier: Your card got declined, do you have another one? / Me: / I’ll risk everything on my next card.
When you realise that one friend only drinks and smokes heavily when you’re around / Maybe I’m the bad influence
Parents: When I was your age we did things, like go outside, play, not siting around watching Netflix. / Am I supposed to be moved by that pathetic tale of woe?
Players / Trying to tame wild foxes to keep as pets / Plot you made up on the fly because they’re skipping everything else / Side plot / Main plot
There’s an alarm clock that wakes you up by firing three puzzle pieces into the air. / You must return all three pieces to their matching holes before you can shut off the alarm. / Thanks, Satan.
The game giving me tips in the loading screen after I die / Come. This is no place to die. / Me who died already 284 times / Yeah, I know.
Romance movies when girls take off their glasses be like
Nobody…… / Random pore on my nose……
My PC’s Cooling System / Me With A Bottle Of Water / My Organs Begging For A Sip Of Water / My Plants Which I Forgot About Their Existence
My Life In The 90s / My Life Now
Me: *Pisses in the toilet* / My dog wondering why I keep marking my territory in the same small ass room everyday:
My Alarm / Other People Alarm
Me holding the door for a stranger that held the door open for 5 other strangers / You can rest now.
Me Going To My Grandmas House / Her “Shaking” My Hand As I’m Leaving A Slipping Me Some Money
When they think they activated their crown chakra, but it was their clown chakra
I’m Over It, I’m Not Mad Anymore / I’m Not Gonna Be Salty About It Anymore / One Eternity Later
If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. / Happiness comes from eating potatoes, not from relationships.
Interrupted-by-fireworks: / I took a picture of my coffee bc it looked pretty cool but then I put a negative filter over it and it actually looks like a small galaxy???