Non car enthusiasts when they see a cool looking car/Definitely not a ferrari/That’s a ferrari/Look ferrari
Someone yawns/My brain/What the hell was that/I want to do it too
Me has neutral expression on my face / My family / What is wrong with you
Me plugs in mobile at 1% charge and removes at 15% / Mobile / Sarcasm / You won’t let me live. You won’t let me die.
Me when my neighbors start a car door slamming contest at 3 am
Me giving a speech to 10000 people in my mind / Me in our annual family gathering
Ayo wtf these dishes still doing here / Me about to leave the house
I’m not planning on working here for long I have plans and dreams / The rest of the company
Humans build the pyramids with such precision that scientists today are still baffled / Also humans
Dogs when they wiggle their tail / Cats when they wiggle their tail
You’ve been sniffed
Me no more your dog food bag says 1 cup / The dog the oreo box surely doesn’t say 16 oreos tricia but here we are
You who cry because you lost your cat / While your cat is out there
When you go to a fancy restaurant / And still end up ordering the chicky tendies
Why would my own brain ruin my day like who’s side are you even on bro
When you buy a new pair of glasses / You will pay the price for your lack of vision
When the sink is full of dirty dishes the trash needs to go out and the washer and dryer are full / I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it
The vegetables in my freezer watchin me grab pizza rolls once again
When you look at memes to avoid your problems but the funniest memes are about problems / No matter how fast you go you cannot outrun yourself
Talk to a person who calls themselves boring / Look inside their soul / A kind and respectable human being with own hopes dreams and talents
On a scale of random hot beverage how are you feeling today?
Me at 16 mom I don’t need your dinner I’m not a kid anymore / Me at 23 mom did u cut the crust off my sandwich the way I like it
Me who just wants to leave work / Your computer requires updates
Me looking both ways down a one-way street because I have no faith in humanity