Guys / My hand no longer fits down the pringles tube
Me every time someone points a camera at me
Main character taking pills in a movie / Starter pack
If life is a never-ending loop of dishes and laundry / It also means life is a never-ending loop of home-cooked meals and comfy clean clothes
I’m going to buy a parrot and only teach it to say 4 phrases / I miss my hands / Never break a promise to a witch / There’s only one way to lift the curse / I just want to hug my kids again
Me / The realization that my fears aren’t prophecies of the future but they do have the ability to negatively alter the future if I make choices based on them
Me staring at their dry ass response after / I genuinely wanted to talk
I don’t bring any bad luck / Sarcasm / Your life was already sh*t
How that one female vocal chorus feels / In a rap song
Me finally decides to start working out / My body after warm-ups / I’m tired boss
Students / Don’t be afraid to ask questions / You should’ve been paying attention
Better reload that one bullet could save my life / Dies while reloading
When the barber spins you around to reveal they ruined your fucking life
Anyone who has ever been special to you ends up leaving because there is something inherently wrong with you / Ok dear
Always check yourself for unnecessary negativity and bitterness / Unnecessary negativity / Bitterness
Dog owners/ This onion won’t make me cry/ Your dog doesn’t love you/ Nooooooooooo/ Cat owners/ This onion won’t make me cry/ Your cat doesn’t love you/ Yeah
Who fixes a clock like this / This image is probably the most accurate visual representation of the United States education system
When you’re driving behind a truck like this and you have a Final Destination 2 flashback so you’re driving like
When your mom says you can look at the lobsters in the grocery store / Happiness noise
When you stayed up late asf and now you gotta face the consequences in the morning
When you start crying but you have no idea why / Invisible condition
When you got shit to say but you keep it at the back of your mind
When you appear offline to avoid playing with that one garbage / And he find you in game
When someone asks you if you can keep a secret and you know you can because you haven’t talked to anyone else for months / No need to thank me