Small child: *Absolutely incomprehensible gibberish* / Me: / Cheers I’ll drink to that bro
Pov: Your friend listening to you as you passionately recommend a series that you love / They will literally never watch a single episode of that show
You Go Outside And See The Sun Is Red / Panik / There Is Nothing Wrong And It’s Actually Beautiful / Kalm / It’s Actually Beautiful / Kalm
When Your Mom Is In The Store / And You’re Bored In The Car
When your house is haunted / But you don’t wanna move / Cause of the housing market / Gtfo my house bitch!
When someone asks my friend for a pen / And I see him pulling up the same pen he borrowed from me and never gave back:
When I Have A Tiny Sip Of Water Before Bed / Pissing The Night Away
What Rage Does To Your Hair In Anime / Vs / What It Actually Does To Your Hair
Person: Ughhh you never text me back / Me: / Maybe you should stop texting me then.
Me: Type out a 4 paragraph response to an internet stranger / Also me: Think about it and deletes the whole thing / Almost lost my cool there.
Think Before Using Emoticons / Without Emoticon / Good Evening Everyone / Readers Perception Of You / With Emoticon / Good Evening Everyone 😀 / Am 10:00
The Endings Of 70s/80s Songs
Taco Bell: We Have A New Menu Item / The Series Of Muscles That Operate My Butthole: / “Let’s See What This Thing Can Do”
POV: Naming A Folder / Cute Pics / Sarcasm / Confirm Save As / Hsdkfgogilufkydjtf.jpg Already Exists. Do You Want To Replace It? / Yes / No
Not Being Able To Hear You
At night before sleeping / My motivation to do something productive the next day / Laziness / In the morning after waking up / Laziness / My motivation to do something productive
My knowledge of the subject. / My confidence in talking about it.
My Dogs Reflection Looks Like A Hologram From Star Wars.
My body: *Doing The Best It Can* / My Brain: / I Will Initiate Self-destruct.
Men who trying their best to grow their beard / Men who are trying their best to permanently remove it
My sister saying that onions are the only food to make you cry / Me throwing a coconut at her
Me Hanging Out Alone Vs Me / Hanging Out With Friends / Happy Birthday
Me at 3 am imagining the funeral of a person who is still alive. / Sarcasm
How onions smell when they’re cooking / How onions smell on your breath