Math class most days / Math class after I miss a single day
Madison / Met a woman in a bathroom line last night who told me she was a writer / And I said I was one too and she was like oh we’re that Spiderman meme / And then we both immediately instinctively pointed fingers at each other and I’m still thinking about it
I love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty / I’m just like lmao u should see my life
Me ignores the injury goes for a run / Injury still exists / Haha damn
How it feels when your old co-workers update you on the company’s downfall after you left
How I sleep after eating a salad for breakfast / And then coming home from work / And eating 3000 calories of the most metabolism-destroying shit known to man
Extra income won’t fix your bad spending habits / I don’t want to fix my spending habits I want to afford them
Police There’s no one else that can help us but you / Detective who’s been retired for 10 years
I can be in my bed and still be busy you know / Busy gathering strength
Step summary / Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat / You took 2 steps last week That’s 2 steps more than the previous week / Fitness isn’t just a hobby it’s a lifestyle
You need to create an account to see this website’s content
When you’re trying to make positive changes but your brain has its favorite neural pathway
When you want to hang out but can’t ask because / You want them to want to hang out with you
When you searched something on TikTok and it became a trend after a few months / Influnser
Traditional dogs eat your homework / Modern dogs just hit the delete button
They don’t know how expensive they are
The reason people watched Mythbusters / To see if a myth is busted confirmed / Explosions
The manager at the local IKEA is retiring / So I sent him a cake
Stages of eating a burger / Tasty burger / Why the fuck is everything falling out / This is a fucking mess
Someone’s child running around obnoxiously in a restaurant / The voice in my head / Sweep the leg
Reminder you are loved
Regularly clean my glasses and always makes sure to never touch the lens / Somehow despite my efforts
One time i saw two rats doing this anybody know what it means thanks / Squeaking / Louder squeaking