When you’re stuck at work and your friends who are irresponsible shits called out sick and went to the beach.
Unlike you jaded pessimists I still have the ability to feel optimistic about something even after a lifetime of disappointment / And you know why? / Because I’m stupid
Me still going to work after I’ve been saying / I’m going to quit for the past 6 months
How I sleep at night knowing none of this exists, nobody belongs to me & people’s actions are merely projections of their own issues
Me, Restructuring my monthly budget after spending 95% of it in the first 3 days
No one:/Renaissance paintings:
People with massive steam libraries and who pre-order games / Me who only gets a couple 5 year old and well received games a year, usually during sales
People: *Build Houses* / House Spiders: / Everything Is Proceeding As I Have Foreseen.
Not The Hero We Deserve But The Hero We Need
My younger brother getting into trouble:/Me:/Blames me for the damages./Me:/Our parents:
My goal was to lose 10 kgs this year.. / Only 15 more to go!!
Me When Someone Tries To Be Funny While I’m Hungry
Me Replying Back A Week And A Half Later: “I’m Fine And You”
Me After Setting Up The Perfect Seating Plan / That One Kid Who’ll Talk To Anyone
Me / Unhealthy Addiction / Look! I Found Happiness! / Everyone
Just A Tiny Fart, Nobody Will Know / The Fart:
It’s out of my control / It’s out of my control
Find The 4,846,514 Differences
Everything happens for a reason / Me: / All this shit has a reason?
Me: *Commenting on a 10 year old video* / The guy who posted the video: *replies a few minutes later* / Me: / You’re still alive?
Cat knows how to open exactly one cabinet door./It’s the one with pots in it./He doesn’t do anything, he just opens it and stares in, confused.
Buy the licence / No / Ok
Me After Waiting All Day To Game With Bro And He Leves After 2 Games
5 Years ago I was a fucking mess & now I’m a fucking mess but at peace with it / And I’ve found a bunch of great music