Me flirts / My brain / You have zero chance to hit
Mom You have 14 apples and then you eat 2 how many you have left / Me 6 / Mom You have 14 apples and then you eat 2 how many apples are left / Me
Why dont humans have a specific noise that means there are bees here lets leave immediately why are elephants more advanced than us / We do have a specific noise it sounds like this / There are bees here lets leave immediately
When your about to throw up / But you swallow your own puke it tastes disgusting
When you get a brain transplant do you stay with your current body and have to get used to a new brain or do you move with your brain to a new body and have to get used to everything else
When someone u don’t like tries to make a joke
Waking up to pet the cat / She’s the one that woke you
The correct way to cut onions
Close your eyes bro / Ok bro / What do you see bro / Nothing bro / That’s physics without you bro / Brooooooo
Dog brain stick your head in it / Dog why / Dog brain just do it
Me who wash my hair with my eyes open / Satan with his army of 10000 demons
Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store
No ice cream no cigarettes / Unicorns are OK / Seems pretty reasonable
My sleepy ass / The cozy / This animal
Me after I peer pressure all my friends into getting fucked up
Memorized the enitre niehbourhood from their first tour / Made some cat friends and got himself a girlfriend / Then hunted rats to bring home as gifts / Ran straight into traffic
Teacher any questions / Me no / Teacher leaves / My confused ass / Wait no come back
Me browsing things I can’t afford as a kid / Me browsing things I can’t afford as an adult
Live look inside my body as soon as i finish my first cup of coffee and think i am ready to start working / Stomach / Transverse colon / Ascending colon / Ileocecal valve / Cecum / Jejunum / Descending colon
We usually think of mood as a scale from 1-5 / But there’s actually a negative scale too where the frown turns back into a smile but just a little insane
Spacedmom / Shout out the person at a social event who’s the first to say they’re going home and breaks the seal for the rest of the guests to be like Guess we’ll head out too
Me Gets a kill in an online game / The 12 year old with a potato quality mic / High-pitched demonic screeching
Me licking lips in anticipation I’m nervous I’ve never done a bungee jump before / Instructor don’t lick my lips again